GoT dragons?

Recently Brian (my husband) and I were discussing the “Game of Thrones” craziness* and we both agreed with a snobby sense of pride that neither one of us had ever watched the show and had no intentions to, ever.

What turns us off so much? The show has dragons.

I don’t like dragons. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not afraid of them or creeped out by their scales or anything. I don’t like dragons because…*spoiler alert* they’re not real.

Coincidentally, this is the exact reason why I despise superhero movies. Superheroes don’t exist and I couldn’t care less who would win if Captain Marvel battled Mighty Mouse or how awesome the supernatural spawn would be if Iron Man and Black Widow got together.** I don’t want to debate this topic. Ever.

I’d much rather watch a movie about real, everyday heroes like first responders, life-saving surgeons, selfless moms, brave warriors in a real battle (without dragons) fighting for America’s freedom. You know, people who actually exist and inspire me to be a better person.

Here’s what else I know: movie studios are going to keep cranking out these CGI infested films until they have liberated every last dollar they can from the LARPing, cosplaying nerds out there geeking out over the size of Thor’s hammer. If I were making millions (sometimes billions) off of them, I would keep ’em coming too! I can see it now, “Avengers: Clash of The Septuagenarians.” Feel free to cast me as Super Mom.

You know what kind of movies we need more of? Jane Austen movies. We don’t have nearly enough of those!*** Feel free to cast me as Elizabeth Bennet.

So GoT fans, you can keep your fake dragons. I don’t need them as my role models because I already know how to breathe fire when I’m angry. Marvel fans, keep your CGI. I don’t need that in my life because I’m just one Super Mom slaying life’s dragons all while keepin’ it real.

*The final episode aired a few days ago and I heard a yellow Volkswagen Bug drives right through an epic battle scene or something.

**I had look these up on the Marvel website. Afterwards to feel better, I reminded myself that I moved out of my parents’ house when I was 19.

***Jane Austen fans are snickering right now because they know there are a boatload of Austen movies out there – and for the record, “Pride, Prejudice and Zombies” DOES NOT COUNT! Zombies aren’t real – but Mr. Darcy is a whole lotta real.